Addiction is a complex condition associated with negative experiences in marriage and can destroy the emotional well-being and financial stability of a family. Anyone affected by addiction in their marriage is not alone as it is a common reason for divorce. 

What Is Addiction?

Addiction is a pattern of repeatedly and compulsively using substances or engaging in actions even though doing so results in negative experiences or consequences. The nature of addiction varies from person to person, depending on the substances or activities involved and the degree to which the addict is mentally and physically dependent on it. 

Commonly abused substances include controlled substances like alcohol, illegal drugs, and medical prescriptions. Common behavioral addictions include gambling, gaming, pornography, and shopping, some of which can lead to financial infidelity.

Divorcing Codependency And Addictive Relationships 

Addiction affects both people in a relationship, even if only one of the two is an addict. 

The decision to divorce when addiction is involved is usually a very painful choice and experience. One person or both people may still care for each other, but one or both have ultimately decided that the relationship is too unhealthy to continue despite their best efforts to cope with the addiction or navigate recovery. For those who have faced challenges as a couple or are bound by codependency, the thought of becoming adversaries in litigation can be daunting, especially due to a lack of healthy boundaries. Many codependent spouses recognize that they are enabling their spouse with addiction, however deny themselves recognition of their own emotional needs as a result of the dysfunctional, one-sided dynamic in their marriage. 

In contrast to a contentious legal battle, mediation allows a couple to retain a sense of unity through divorce, as collaborators creating solutions together rather than fighting against one another. Mediation creates clear and healthy boundaries and facilitates discussions around sensitive topics, acknowledging each party’s unique needs and the role addiction has played. 

Guided by decades of experience, Colleen McNamee is widely recognized in the Orange County community as a leading expert in mediating all issues related to family law involving addiction. McNamee Mediations encourages honest communication and emphasizes a positive long-term focus on the future, helping couples amicably reach fair settlement agreements divorces involving addiction. Mediation maintains privacy throughout the process, unlike litigation, where everything becomes a matter of public record.

Private Divorce Mediation For A Spouse With Addiction

In traditional divorce proceedings where each party hires their own legal representation and matters potentially escalate to litigation, the process can drag on due to the addicted party’s inability to be in a coherent state of mind. Certain substances can alter a person’s ability to emotionally self-regulate, leading them to react to situations more negatively than if they were sober. 

The stress and uncertainty of how proceedings will play out can make someone hesitant to divorce an addict spouse, while also feeling trapped and overwhelmed. The traditional discovery process of divorce can cause the person struggling with addiction to worry frantically about the opposing counsel mentioning their addiction in court. They may feel attacked as well as concerned about the public nature of court trial records.

Mediation is privileged, which means that statements one makes during mediation cannot be used against the party later in court or other legal proceedings. It is particularly beneficial for discussing sensitive topics, as the process does not require that parties hire lawyers or appear in court before a judge and jury. Mediation takes place in the privacy of the mediator’s office and both parties mutually and voluntarily consent to mediation and sign a confidentiality agreement.

Divorcing With Children, Assets, And Addiction

A divorce mediator sets ground rules for parties to negotiate in a clear-headed manner, while recognizing that addiction may cause one party to be incoherent at times. The experience, sensitivity, and awareness of Master Mediator Colleen McNamee are indispensable for couples to discuss topics like custody, child support, and business and assets. For families divorcing with children, a successful co-parenting plan will account for possible scenarios in which addiction renders someone incapacitated and therefore unable to respond or fulfill their obligations. McNamee Mediations advises parents on the language of drafting flexibility clauses that prevent last-minute complications on important days or events and logistically allow for mutually agreed-upon changes without violating court orders, while still protecting what is in the best interest of the children.

McNamee Mediations is renowned for compassionately supporting couples through divorce by using proven conflict resolution techniques to de-escalate conflict and foster cooperation and respectful dialogue. We offer on-going, post-settlement support and resources, including co-parenting reading recommendations, and continued mediation sessions if needed. We also offer recommendations from our trusted network of licensed family/individual/co-parenting therapists, marriage counselors, child psychologists, and mental health professionals for families that may require additional support. 

Give McNamee Mediations a call today. 

Call Us Today: +1 (949) 223-3836

E-Mail Us: mmediations@msn.com