Top Secret Tips on How to Detect Financial Infidelity

It’s surprising to think that one partner could actually hide expenditures from their spouse for many years. One has to be quick to identify the cues that might indicate the existence of financial dishonesty in their marriage.

What Does Financial Infidelity Mean?

Financial infidelity is defined as one spouse spending money without the knowledge of their partner. This form of dishonesty can be grounds for a divorce. In fact, it is now one the leading causes of marital separations in Orange County.

A lot of us find it quite baffling to consider how a spouse could hide their expenditures from their partners without them finding out. Married couples file their taxes every year and when they do, all expenses made for that year can be reviewed. If only couples would check their records. There is no reason to not know if your spouse has secretly been spending money at any time during the year that has passed. Sadly, a lot of people choose not to check and review records.

At McNamee Mediations, we have found that in most cases of financial infidelity, the betrayal of trust is only found out during either of the two occasions: death or divorce. In both of these situations, finances are looked at and reviewed more thoroughly.

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What are the Cues that Indicate that Your Partner Has Been Secretly Spending?

At McNamee Mediations, we strongly advise in trusting your husband or wife. But we also encourage being alert and checking financial records from time to time.

Here are 2 common clues that you should look out for:

Red Flag Number 1: Missing Documentation

It’s a must to review finances! When you check your records, take note of missing documentations. You should pay attention to types of transactions or expenses that you do not remember making. Look for receipts and supporting documents so that you can trace where the expenditure was made. This also means that married couples should be mindful of keeping receipts for every expense they make.

Red Flag Number 2: Misdirected Mail

Don’t brush off anything that seems misdirected. There are many times that people just ignore mail from a credit card company that they know they don’t have an account with, dismissing it as junk mail. Although it might deserve to go in the garbage, it is always a good practice to check, it might be a valid bank statement. You have to be keen in keeping an eye on documents like these.

Real Case Scenario of Financial Infidelity in Orange County, California

Colleen McNamee of McNamee Mediations recently handled a divorce case in Orange County that involved financial infidelity.

A couple was filing for a divorce after the husband discovered his wife was committing financial dishonesty. The wife had been secretly giving funds to her parents for quite some time. Her parents were struggling financially, and she wanted to help them out, so she would give a little bit of money to them every month. She never told her husband about this because she was afraid that he wouldn’t be supportive, and she was also embarrassed to say that her parents were having financial problems.

After some time, the small amounts she would hand to her parents each month accumulated. Eventually the payments put a strain on the wife’s ability to pay her own household’s expenses. It became so bad that she stopped paying mortgage payments.

The husband finally found out about the secret spending one day when he came home from work and there was a bank notice on their front door saying that they were in jeopardy of foreclosure.

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Open Communication is Healthy and Prevents Financial Dishonesty 

This case that Colleen McNamee handled is a very common scenario among many married couples in Orange County, California. This is especially true after the recent years of recession, where a lot of people have been dramatically hurt financially.

Many families have had to help other family members in recent years with money troubles. No one would fault this woman for wanting to help her parents. But not being able to be honest with her husband about what she was doing cost her family greatly. Her lying resulted in her own family’s financial collapse and contributed to the eventual divorce.

The problems in this case in Orange County could have been avoided if the wife had been open about the concern to her husband. And the husband could have prevented a lot of the conflict if he had been monitoring the finances and discussing how they spent their money more openly with his wife. The truth is, with many marital problems, open communication seems to be a lacking factor.

It’s wise to talk to your spouse openly, especially when it comes to financial problems. Sit it down and go over the finances together. Your marriage will benefit from discussing your concerns about the future and how you are going to achieve your goals as a couple. Most of the time you’ll find that many marital problems can be avoided with a good conversation.

McNamee Mediations – Your Trusted Partner 

If your marriage has been destroyed by financial infidelity or other forms of dishonesty or miscommunication, a certified divorce mediator may be a smart choice. McNamee Mediations has long been trusted in helping couples through this difficult situation. We provide services to help through the process of divorce. Call Colleen McNamee today for more information about us and our services. You can email us at