“Dura lex, sed lex” is a Latin phrase that means that “the law is harsh, but it is the law.” It is a legal maxim that expresses the importance of respecting the law, even when it seems too rigid or extreme.
Divorce proceedings can convince people that because the law can be uncompromising, so must they. Litigation can transform former lovers into bitter rivals. Former spouses can gradually become less interested in maximizing what they can mutually resolve, and more territorial and adversarial on issues of finance, property, and custody.
The stressful nature of traditional divorce can cause disagreements to escalate, inciting aggression, competitiveness, and defamation.
A judge is an officer of the court, whose decisions are legally binding, even if all parties disagree. One might say that the job of a lawyer is to present the case to the judge with the legal interpretation that best suits the sole interests of their client, without regard for the psychological or financial effects this may have on the other party.
How Divorce Can Be Amicable
While litigation can feel like a battlefield between two warriors armed for combat, mediation is calm—like a garden. There are no “sides”, no warriors, and no judgements.
In mediation, no one is “judging” you legally or personally. A divorce mediator is not a judge and does not make legal decisions for you.
The adversarial nature of traditional divorce can cause you to worry frantically about the opposing counsel digging into your life with the information your spouse has given to them about your history and behavior.
However, mediation allows you to breathe and speak honestly, free from the fear of being scrutinized or attacked. Mediation requires mutual consent and adherence to rules and prerequisites before proceedings may begin in the privacy of the mediator’s office. Parties must sign a confidentiality agreement which stipulates that all statements made during mediation are considered privileged communications that cannot be referenced or shown in court.
A divorce mediator is not the same as being individually represented by a divorce lawyer. Licensed family law mediation specialist Colleen McNamee exclusively represents the combined interests of BOTH parties, as a neutral advocate.
The Emotional Benefits Of Compassionate Mediation
Litigation can be very draining. If some lawyers publicly admit to feeling drained, imagine what it must be like for the parties involved!
Colleen McNamee is a former litigation lawyer turned Master Mediator, renowned for her ability to help couples divorce peacefully through mediation. Her “aha” moment occurred to her as a young lawyer witnessing a wife’s raging rant against her soon-to-be ex-husband, and thinking that there had to be two sides to the story.
The truth is that divorce does not have to be a competition of which spouse can punish the other the most!
Mediation is for those who believe in finding a way for the glass to be half full.
Mediation is for those who are willing to negotiate creatively and collaboratively.
Mediation is for those who seek the high road.
If you wish for a Master Mediator to help foster compassion and facilitate communication through your divorce, give McNamee Mediations a call today.
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